It’s been nearly 3 years since I’ve had seasons! Three years of perpetual summer.

Recently I’ve found myself longing for fall. I sit on the park bench and daydream about a chill in the air. I picture myself sitting by a fire. After we watch a TV show set near Christmas time, I start thinking Christmas is right  around the corner. Stephen saw the snow on screen and commented, “I miss weather.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE sunshine! In fact, before we moved out to AZ I would have said my favorite season was summer. Even now, after one overcast day, I find myself happy to see the sun again. But…three years of summer is enough to have me wishing for a change.

Tonight, we were granted our wish for weather. As I type, we are in the midst of a dust storm. The wind was tearing through our neighborhood, blowing trees, bushes, boxes, birds, trash, and lots and lots of dust. We heard some thunder and saw a few raindrops on the window panes.

Is it as good as a summer thunderstorm? Not quite, but I’ll take it!

You have some incredible friends, Silas, who love you very much!

Since he’s been walking for six months, his running and climbing skills have taken off. The sectional has been his latest climbing feat. It’s a few inches higher than the ottoman, so it took a little longer for him to wriggle on top. He’s taken to sitting and standing in drawers, baskets, and buckets. More than once he’s started to scale the bookcase. Playground equipment doesn’t deter him. He’ll find a way to go where he wants or at least give it his best shot. Earlier this week he managed to go down the slide by himself—on his belly!

The other day he was throwing his tummy against the ottoman to fling himself on top. Then he’d slide off the edge facing forward. Sometimes he’d land upright, but often he tumbled over on the floor. Silas recently figured out how to reach the light switches by climbing on the arm of the sectional. His baby bike also lets him reach the lights!Silas is now playing with toys as they’re supposed to be used. He loves stacking blocks and reading books. He’ll hand me a book and then start backing up towards me to sit on my lap. Before naps we read My Treasury of Nursery Rhymes. Amazingly, Bitty Boy sits still for a long time as I read. Maybe it has something to do with him going down for a nap afterwards? Hmm… I like to think it’s the cadence of the rhymes.Mealtime adventures are always changing. Silas was loving holding a fork and even eating from it, but now he prefers using his fingers. His attention span is pretty short with food, so we try several different kinds of food each meal. Milk is by far his favorite drink—we’re (ever so slowly) working on expanding his repertoire to water and juice.

We try to make it to the park on weekdays when I’m not babysitting. If nothing else, we’ll try to take a walk around the neighborhood or up to our mailbox. Silas does a super job at staying on the sidewalk while walking. It always helps if he has a stick in his hand. Usually as soon as we get outside, he’s looking for a stick to pick up. Sticks are a prized commodity in the desert.No mistake about it, Silas is a friendly munchkin. He flashes his smile and expects that everyone will be his friend. We’ve gone to baby/toddler activities at two different libraries, and we’re hoping to join the playgroup in Verrado.Bitty Boy has been cracking himself up! He laughs and laughs and that makes him laugh more! Just this week he’s learned to say, “uh-oh.” He also said, “done” when I said, “All done.” And he repeated, “ba-ba,” when I said, “baby.” I do hope this means he’ll be talking soon! Can’t wait to hear his little words. Already, just hearing his unintelligible declarations cracks me up.

Along with these many joys come many exasperations with parenting a one year old. Between crabbiness, screaming, fussy nap times, messy mealtimes, constant whining (some days), a language barrier, neediness, and lots of mobile energy, I’m feeling the stress of mothering a toddler.

You know what’s been helping me through it? I pause for a moment to really, truly look at Silas. I see his tiny body, his adorable legs and feet running on our tile floor, his charming smile that spreads across his entire chubby face, and I think, “He’s only one once.” Yes, sometimes that means, “Thank goodness we won’t always have these toddler struggles!” But mostly that means, “This is the only time of his life that he’ll be one year old. I’d better tuck these moments away in my heart before they’re gone forever. Look at my baby—this little person that is both Stephen and me. He’s only one once.”

As I hold him, rock him, read to him, bounce him, or sing to him to push through some nap time or wakeful night, I’m reminded of what a precious boy I’m holding. When the stress of it seems too much, I think about the words of a lullaby written by my friend. Silas is a “priceless gift, eternal soul.”Thank you, God, for this eternal soul you’ve put into our home, our hearts. Help us shepherd him to know Your love and our love for him.

He’s only one once.

• unexpected phone call from my sister friend—in the middle of the day


• mailbox full of cards from family—and not one piece of junk mail


• friends coming over for dinner and games


• playing “chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a CHOO! CHOO!” with Bitty Boy


• surprise dinner date with My Man—tonight!


• email from my friend half a world away—in Papua New Guinea


• chic, comfy flip-flops from the cutie I babysit


• My Man’s boss bragging on Stephen over dinner


• Baby running excitedly to give Mommy a hug

So, when life is just life, I find it hard to write. I do love these days at home with my one year old. I love the evenings with my man. This season of my life has an ebb and flow to its tides that I realize is fleeting. Fleeting because one day (one very sad day) school days will be upon us. Right now, life is simple. We have no ties to a school calendar. Only 5 more years—wait, only 4 more years—until again one of us is in school. (Where did this first year with Silas Clark go? How could I have only 4 more years at home with him?)

Until the fall of 2009, my life had been governed by a school calendar. Now the tide of life rises and falls with a steady rhythm, a cadence. No deadlines, no snow days, no conferences, no homework. The school calendar has been replaced by holiday celebrations, family birthdays, trips back home, and the changing of the seasons as the markers of the passage of time. I could ride this tidal wave for a very long time!

The quiet, steady rhythm of life for me as a stay-at-home mom has required adjustment. The week’s climax is Sunday. Very often our Saturdays have become days to prepare for Sunday. I recently began babysitting for a friend twice a week. This has added a new cadence to our current.

I won’t have these days forever. So, Elisabeth, take the time to soak in the roundness of Silas’s cheeks, the way his lips curve to form that new fishy-face he’s discovered. Sit still and notice Stephen’s strong arms, his dark waves of hair. This season of life has its many stresses (don’t think for a minute that I sit idly sipping tea all day). To be perfectly honest, this week was very difficult and full of lots of human, selfish, cranky moments for me. But I want to remember this beautiful current I’m riding. One day this season will be gone.

I’m just loving Bitty Boy at 15 months!

I decided this New Year that I wanted to become a reader. I usually don’t make resolutions, however this year I made a goal to read one book each month. I’ve managed to read 3 books already! Of course, it’s way too soon to say that I’ve met my goal, but at least I’m starting strong.

I’ve discovered that the key to my becoming a reader is all in finding the right book. Thus far, I’ve read a parenting book, financial book, and a historical fiction novel. What’s next? Well, we’ll see which one of my library hold requests comes through first.

• God’s love for me. Unearned. I am accepted.


• My hard-working man. Lovingly providing. Happily returning home.


• Baby arms around my neck. Reaching up for me. Squeezing.


• Freedom to live Biblically. Refusing to be a slave to fear or guilt.


• Time. To learn. To relish life. To manage my house. To treasure family. To love others. To grow. To change.


• Friends. Close and distant. Friends who turn my face towards Christ.


• A home. A nest for family. A place of ministry.

I remember that all this has been given to me. I cannot act as though it were not a gift.